Hi guys - thought I'd better post this before I deleted it from my emails
You like to think that these are the real deal - makes it funnier that way
Enjoy !
1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6) 
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6) 
3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea 
all round you, you're incontinent. ( Wayne age 7) 
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily 
Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6) 
5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8) 
6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. 
(Millie age 6) 
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the 
ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to 
make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating 
beans. (William age 7) 
8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. And 
how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen age 6) 
9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always 
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big 
sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6) 
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give 
you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they 
have to plug themselves into chargers.(Christopher age 7) 
11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy 
small. (Kevin age 6) 
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go 
down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8) 
13) On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going 
very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot right up her 
fat ass. (Jule age 7) 
 :P