Author Topic: The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational  (Read 4121 times)

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Offline deutros

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The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational
« on: Mon 15 Nov 2010 02:34:42 »
> The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to
> take any
> word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
> letter, and
> supply a new definition.
>
>
>
> Here are the winners:
>
> 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
> financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
>
> 2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
>
> 3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
> realize
> it was your money to start with.
>
> 4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>
> 5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
> ideas
> from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
> breaking down in
> the near future.
>
> 6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
> getting
> laid..
>
> 7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
>
> 8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
> who
> doesn't get it.
>
> 9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
>
> 10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
>
> 11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
> really bad
> vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious
> bummer.
>
> 12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
> consuming only
> things that are good for you.
>
> 13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
>
> 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
> come
> at you rapidly.
>
> 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
> accidentally walked through a  spider web.
>
> 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
> bedroom
> at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
>
> 17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
> fruit
> you're eating.
>
> The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its
> yearly
> contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for
> common words.
>
> And the winners are:
>
> 1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
>
> 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
> gained.
>
> 3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
>
> 4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
>
> 5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
>
> 6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
> nightgown.
>
> 7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
>
> 8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
>
> 9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run
> over
> by a steamroller.
>
> 10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
>
> 11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
>
> 12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
>
> 13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
>
> 14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
>
> 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
> onto the
> roof and gets stuck there.
>
> 16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
> men
>
>
 

Offline jpilgrim56

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Re: The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational
« Reply #1 on: Tue 26 Apr 2011 18:50:45 »
Very witty! Thanks