Author Topic: Dearest Cracker Son  (Read 4143 times)

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Offline deutros

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Dearest Cracker Son
« on: Sat 05 Sep 2009 16:48:34 »

Dearest Cracker Son,

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved.  won't be able to send you the address because the last  Port Charlotte  family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address..


This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about it.  I put a load of clothes in and
pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't bad here.  It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for
four days.

About that winter coat you wanted me to send up North; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in
the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.


Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and
drowned.  We had him cremated, he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck.  Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam
to safety.

Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down!

There isn't much more news at this time.  Nothing much out of the normal has happened.


Your Favourite Aunt,


Offline Vtroll

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Re: Dearest Cracker Son
« Reply #1 on: Sun 13 Sep 2009 15:59:53 »
There's no Port Charlotte in Tasmania is there?


Offline kilbey

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Re: Dearest Cracker Son
« Reply #2 on: Thu 17 Sep 2009 04:48:11 »
Groan  ::) ......... although I do like the tailgate gag.