Author Topic: Warm enough? THIS IS VERY FUNNY STORY HOW A POMMY WAS WELCOMED TO OUR WEST  (Read 5505 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline deutros

  • Midoztouch 2
  • Global Moderator
  • Rock Elite
  • *****
  • Posts: 7183
  • Thanked: 9067 times
  • Karma: 386
  • Midoztouch 2 Admin
    • Little Aussie Albums
Warm enough? THIS IS VERY FUNNY STORY HOW A POMMY WAS WELCOMED TO OUR WEST
 

 

NEWMAN , WESTERN AUSTRALIA

[  Diary of a Bloke who cracked a Job in W.A. ]

August 31

Just got transferred with work from grey old London to our new home in

Newman, Western Australia.

Now this is a town that knows how to live!

Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.

I watched the sunset from a deckchair by the pool yesterday. It was

beautiful. I've finally found my new home. I love it here.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

September 13

Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem though. Living in air-conditioned

home, driving air-conditioned car.  What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this.

I'm turning into a sun-worshipper.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

September 30th

Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more

mowing lawns for me.  Another scorcher today, but I love it here.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

October 10th

The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of

heat?  At least today it's windy though. Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatising  is

taking longer than I expected.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

October 15th

Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed

three days of work. What a dumb thing to do!  Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like

this.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

October 20th

Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning.

By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of

a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery.  The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat

shit. I've learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

October 25

This wind is a b*stard. It feels like a giant f*ckin' blow dryer.  And it's hot as hell!

The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive

over and tell me he needs to order parts from f*ckin' Perth .


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

October 30th

The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't arrived for the f*ckin' aircon.

Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. Bloody $800,000 house and we can't

even go inside.  Why the hell did I ever come here?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November 4

Finally got the ol' aircon fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around

25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 30.

Stupid repairman.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November 8

If one more smart a*se says 'Hot enough for you today?', I'm going to f*ckin' throttle

him. F*ckin' heat!  By the time I get to work, the car's radiator is boiling over, my

clothes are soaking f*ckin' wet and I smell like baked cat!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November 9

Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery

in the ol' car.  I thought my f*ckin' arse was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh, all

the hair on the backs of my legs and my f*ckin' arse.  Now the car smells like burnt hair,

fried a*se and baked cat!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November 10

Weather report! It might as well be a f*ckin' recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot

and f*ckin' sunny!  It's been too hot to do anything for two f*ckin' months and the

weatherman says it might really warm up next week.  Doesn't it ever rain in this damn

f8ckin' place. Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry

up and blow into the f*ckin' pool.  The only things that thrive in this hell-hole are the

f*ckin' flies. You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the

f*ckers!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November 20th

Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 f*ckin' degrees today.  Now the air conditioner's gone in my

car. The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?'  My wife had to

spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid f*cker.

F*ckin' Newman! What kind of sick, demented f*ckin' idiot would want to live here!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

December 1

WHAT!!!! -  The first day of Summer!!!!

You are f*ckin' kidding!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------